* fragments of the same dead star



a girl who doesnt live life the way she wants it to be, peppering her existence with countless regrets along the lifelong journey



EARCANDY

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

roar. i am angry. the apples in stereo say it best.
i can't believe what she said to me.

this is my first week where i have endured all 5 working days in a stretch, considering the bangkok trip and my half day due to basic theory, and the very first week too. however, i have hated all 5 days of it. why must all the good people leave (cisco man gone for his stint, supervisor on 1week leave, relief manager being quite an annoying bitch, nice colleague leaving for another branch, friendly courier guy switching back to his old job)?

it's hard to get by without them, more so with ****** giving me a hard time just becos she doesnt like me. condescending bitch. i never liked you from day one. i can't believe what you said to me. edit: everything you've said to me.

looking thru friendster pics of girls from my alma mater, it's astonishing to see how they seem to put 'outrage of sartorial decency' on a pedestal, mistaking it for 'quirky cool'. what's more, they only seem to know one standard pose.. sadly which not all can properly execute. masterpiece disasterpiece. whatever happened to sweet young things?

i'm probably only saying this because everything's pissing me off today. even 2 bars of chocolate can't elevate my mood. they were supposed to make me feel better, not fatter. speaking of which i CANNOT believe chocolate bar prices are up AGAIN what-the-effing-fuck! i am so so so pissed! i want to roar louder than an angry beaver.

at least there's one more thing to look forward to.. meeting kaka for dinner at aston's. however i have every reason to believe it's gg to be full house and we'll be kept waiting outside in the pouring rain. i know i know, when things are down they can only get back up. and in any case, it's not even raining. but somehow, the uphill ride doesnt seem to be coming as soon as now.

i miss the cisco auxiliary policeman. and i miss the soldier.

i think i need you.

without you. within you.

bitter/sweet.

more bitter, less sweet.

a rose may be beautiful.. and nothing more.

go ahead be gone with it

plan of the night was:
meatballs at ikea
get cheesecake for chialing
go to chialing's house

but.....

between the span of 8pm to 12am, i have been to:
expo
changi airport
expo
bedok
tampines
ikea (finally)
towards yio chu kang
ang mo kio
punggol
sengkang
heading back to changi airport
ikea (again)
paya lebar
katong
siglap
woodleigh
the wrong lorong gambir
the correct lorong gambir
and back home.

being the ahbeng that jason is, he requires techno to navigate on the road. but i shall not complain becos he let me drive the car! in the siglap carpark. all i did was make many horrible right turns but for a first timer it is fun fun fun. we freaked cos 2 potential undercover cops were watching in another parked car so we had to leave. fun while it lasted tho!

many apt songs. what goes around comes around. just as i said that it'd be rilly funny if we ended up back at ikea.. i turned to the right and wtf. and the best song to listen to while whacking a kid's head and making him fall is smack that, all on the floor, smack that, give me some more, smack that, till you get sore. and my tolerence level for techno has gone up. and role reversal for music&lyrics shld never be attempted again. what can i say it was a long car ride.

and chialings hope you like your cake! it was a long perilous journey to retrieve it. i rilly should be sleeping. gnight one and all and happy birthday jiejie

erica teo zilei

fellow eastie girl.. i suppose a large part of time was spent on travelling together eg. 966, meeting at eunos mrt platform, train home from town after school, your dad sending me home from faraway places so often till he remembers my address.. and studying together eg. mpcc starbucks which freakin closed down then we had to switch to the not as nice galilee cafe nonsense in the library! and me staying over at your house right before exams to chiong and go to sch together but i end up sleeping on your bed. and of course dancing together eg. all the items we've done!! screaming together "noooooo!!!!!" at locked toilet doors.. neway do you remember this picture above? rapture back in 2005, with my short hair growing out and all, and my fat face still a constant. i realise you look a lot different now! less cute more hot :D neway do you rmbr back on that rapture day, when we went to the kallang theatre washroom and realised we both cldnt stand the same person (shhh hint: *****!) and we started bitching very very excitedly. yknw what i havent seen you in ages and i miss you and happy birthday!

too little time..
just too little time
for everything.

★ shàarlət says:
why cant my cheeks run a treadmill
yaaaayayasmin ; sono prezioso maledetto says:
you'd be wishing you had erm babyfats in ten years time!
yaaaayayasmin ; sono prezioso maledetto says:
i dont like my face too
yaaaayayasmin ; sono prezioso maledetto says:
i lack cheekbones
yaaaayayasmin ; sono prezioso maledetto says:
why cant my cheeks do pilates HAHAHA
★ shàarlət says:
HAHAHHAHHA

day by day i feel fatter and fatter, and i get hungrier too. had a late dinner with the sister, and i've been hungry for the past 2 hours. tom yam! bangkok baby has got me addicted to tom yam tho i suck at taking spicy food. snacking on tim tams failed to appease me :l fat face me. and i dont like how my msn nick star turns into squares on my entries.

★ shàarlət says:
oh no lahz
★ shàarlət says:
which store is it from?
★ shàarlət says:
i dont mind popping by to reserve for you
★ shàarlət says:
cos i'll be out in the day
yaaaayayasmin ; sono prezioso maledetto says:
fcuk! wismamipoko pants
★ shàarlət says:
HAHAHH
yaaaayayasmin ; sono prezioso maledetto says:
(i told my dad i wanted to buy the pants from FCUK and he thought i scolded him -.- )

i swear when i read the wismamipoko pants i burst out laughing la. i literally played the mamipoko pants jingle in my head! we are so funnehz. and it's quite amusing how adults struggle to keep up with the times sort of. just like how my mummy takes 34 million years to read and reply an sms.. looking at each key before pressing, re-reading the whooole damn thing.. moving her thumb around looking for the 'send' button.. then finally.. SEND. it makes me wanna snatch it away from her and type it myself lol. oh no i'm such a meanie!






annnnnnnnd.. happy birthday kaka <3 ! a proper birthday entry for you coming soon




the future freaks me out

the crazy bitch hyperventilates whenever there's a thunderstorm. here she is panting at 3500 breaths per minute and trying to find solace by staring at the wall with her eyes wide open. it's funny sometimes, but mostly it annoys the crap out of me. sleepless nights due to her incessant whines and scratches leads to dozing off during lunch break and extending it from an hour to an hour half.

the damn thunderstorm made me lose my train of thought and purpose of writing an entry. the only thing left on my mind now is that i need to finish unfinished business.. and that i can't wait for sunday.

at least in my lifetime
i've had one dream come true

work right after bangkok --> sleepy me. and i'm alrdy napping almost every day after i get home. i'm quite useless that way. but today my supervisor was sick on mc which left me in semi-panic not at the disco. i never get through an hour at work without running off to go find her for help. but today.. i got by fine without her which is a very very very huuuuuge accomplishment so yes i am many proud of myself :) :) :)

tmr is coin exchange day.. and i forgot how to say coins in chinese :o ! i foresee a communication breakdown with mandarin-speaking customers tmr. if the supervisor is still on mc, i think tmr is going to be a tough day.

i realise kids have a love/hate relationship with men in uniform.

and i tried my luck at the atm today.. i'm not eligible for gst credits >:( ! the things i do for $$$.

but the air outside so soft is saying everything
everything

i'm typing this as i hear a plane fly past. living in close proximity to the beach means hearing things like horns from ships and planes heading to changi. living right next to a forest also means having strange insects fly in through the window, like the huge beetle on my left which is bugging me. excuse the pun.

and in 12 hours i'll be on a plane, to bangkok with the girls. but i'm constantly fraught with worry eg. plane crash, stolen money, snatch thiefs, bomb, riots, rape, robbery, kidnap.. i keep thinking i'll die in bangkok :( !! and the more you think of something the more it comes true right? but i cant stop thinking it omg i'm gg to die :( but at least i die happy? with all the great bargains to come. okay i'm insane.

suejeann says:
haha better be careful man
★ shàarlət says:
dont scare me!
★ shàarlət says:
hahah
★ shàarlət says:
what kind of holiday is this i keep worrying
suejeann says:
THATS WHY LA
suejeann says:
WAH LAO

if you're reading this and you can't bear for me to die in bangkok, please pray for my safety okay! thank you good night.


there must be someplace here
that only you and i could go